Mr. Avery looked startle, adjusting his concentration from the manuscript on his desk to the entryway of his cubicle. ‘Tori?’ He asked. ‘What in...the world are you doing here? It’s so late.’ ‘I followed you in,’ she told him. ‘My dorm is the one next door and I saw you come in. I was wondering the same thing about you, actually, why you were here so late. You looked lonely, so I decided I’d come and try to keep you company.’ She smiled at him as she walked confidently into his office, taking. I would never again know that intense feeling of love when the three of us were together.“What are the conditions under which a person can be institutionalized?” I whispered. That was what I was truly afraid of. I would tell her and they would lock me away. I would never see my daughter or my lovers again. I would forever be locked inside my own mind trying to figure out which life I’d lived. Janna chuckled.“Do you think we are locked in the nineteenth century? I don’t know how these myths. These inflictions were not some form of pleasure, but for me they were painful and I had no recourse other than bearing the insidious treatment. As I nursed Jake back to health, I began to trim my hair and spend more time attempting to be more attractive. I went from shoulder length frizzy strands of uncontrollable blond curls to hair only long enough to be feminine. Not only was it easier to care for, the reflection in our small mirror announced I succeeded. Jake noticed the change of style. And work me they would—hard and harsh like doing damage was the plan. The tough part was the ten minutes they required me to wait once they’d finished and gone, shivering and wishing it was next week already. Especially on nights with temps in the teens and the wind whistling through, and really especially in the snow. (That only happened once.)What I learned was that clothes and upright postures made me invisible. No one ever looked at me except for those men, and they only looked for four.
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